monocerous: A huge, broad-sided monster that has only one horn.

 

moose, chocolate: A tasty animal much troubled by ducks which like to nibble it. There are also vanilla mooses in Xanth.

 

moth hawk: An insect that flies silently and strikes other insects down swiftly with

taloned feet.

 

mudhen: Small, plump bird that spatters mire wherever it goes.

 

nameless dreads: Unseen monsters with haunting voices. Alister names them Sally,

Aloysius, and the Great Fritizini to strip them of their power to terrify.

 

neon-coral: Brilliantly glowing colonies of tiny sea animals.

 

netwings: Insects that resemble little nets blowing about on the wind. Their wings are no more than air tied together with a few filaments so that their ability to fly is due more to magic than aerodynamic construction.

 

nickelodeon: A dumpy box with a slot in its side, which plays music as it eats nickelpedes.

 

nix: A sometimes-man, sometimes-fish that can freeze or unfreeze water by nixing it.

 

ore: Huge fat water monster with teeth that overflow its mouth.

 

owl-fly. A large-eyed, tufted bug that flies silently.

 

pantheon: A category of gods or demi-gods who fought on the side of Xanth against the Fifth Wave invaders.

 

parody: A bird with green wings, squat downcurving beak. It talks in an imitation of human speech.

 

phoenix: The glorious immortal bird which immolates itself on the nest containing its egg and is reborn from the ashes every 500 years.

 

picklepuss: Cat body with a snout that is green and prickly like a pickle. Its eyes are moist with brine. Whatever it touches gets pickled. Mundanes do the same thing with stuff in a bottle.

 

picture-winged fly: A small insect, common species in Xanth. Its wings show illustrations rendered in a variety of media and styles. Among those noted by Good Magician Humfrey in his Information Book are the Pastoral, Still-life, Naturalistic, Surrealistic, Cubist, Watercolor, Oil, Pastel Chalk, Penand- ink, Charcoal, and Crayon-Drawing.

 

piggy-back: Fat pink animal that enjoys carrying other animals on its back.

 

pilot fish: A variety of flying fish that likes to live in trees, especially plane trees, though they can't fly them unless they have fishing licenses.

 

pinches: Little birds with outsized beaks.

 

policeman: A blue demon in the dream realm who chases folks yelling incomprehensible things like "Sendya tothe bighouse!"

 

Pythia: Innocent damsels who serve as priestesses and speak gibberish for the Oracle at Mount Parnassus.

 

Python: Guardian of the Oracle on Mount Parnassus. Also in the jungle of Xanth, there is a shape-changing  serpent that can alter its form as it chooses into something completely different every few minutes.

 

quack: A bird with a wide bill, webbed feet, and a bag of patent medicines, who promises miracle cures.

 

raindeer: Four-legged horned beasts that carry their own stormcloud over them, complete with boomlets of thunder and little bolts of lightning.

 

razorback pig: Down the spine of this friendly porker is a ridge of sharp razor blades. The spines can be cultivated for shaving.

 

relevant: Huge, grey animal with four trunklike legs and a nose which reaches to the ground; is concerned with what is current and pertinent.

 

rhinoceros beetle: Looks like a bulldozer (another big creature of Xanth).

 

ribbonfish: Enormously wide but completely flat and slick eel-like fish which scoops things up and slides them along its length until it deposits them where it wants them.

 

robber-flies: These unscrupulous insects will attempt to steal anything which appears unguarded, up to many times their own weight.

 

robin: Greedy bird, one of the most notorious hoods in the forest.

 

roc: Largest of all birds. They love rock gardens and rock music. This giant red bird prefers hephalumphs as a snack.

 

rock hound: A living stone dog. As mobile and flexible as a flesh-and-blood dog, but more solidly built.

 

salamander: A brightly colored amphibian five inches in length. Salamander fire burns magically anything it touches, even water, except for rock, earth, and salamander weed. It loves to start conflagrations. Its magical fire is one-way, forming its own firebreak.

 

samphire: Living marshweed with a taste for flesh and blood. It has thorn claws and fangs with which it tears apart unsuspecting victims, and then it drags them under the surface of the marsh to enjoy at leisure.

 

 

 

sandman: Animated sand that can assume different shapes. It puts travelers to sleep.

 

satyr: A less than innocent relative of the dry-faun.

 

sawflies: Use their sharp probosci to saw wood into lengths to build their homes.

 

scaredy cat: A small feline that spooks easily.

 

sea cow. Half-bovine, half-fish that makes a loving pet, and is also a useful steed in the

water.

 

sea monsters, lake monsters, and river monsters: Mostly giant serpents that can live underwater. They all have multiple rows of very thin sharp teeth. They honk when provoked.

 

sea nettle: Roundish plantlike animal that can sting one to death. Its head is gilled like a toadstool, and it has huge stinging tentacles.

 

secretary bird: Literate avian that writes letters, then carries them itself to their destinations.

 

sel-fish: Fat-faced fish that enjoys instant gratification, never worries about the welfare of others.

 

shellfish: Made up of dull, broad, serrated pincers. It fears the starfish in the sky, and hides from them.

 

shopping centaur: Lady centaur with a big shopping bag.

 

sidehill hoofer: Mountain cow with short blunt horns whose two left legs are shorter than the two right so that it can run around the perimeter of a hill with ease, and so its horns will be precisely level when aiming at prey.

 

silverfish: Small metal fish that swim in silvery ponds.

 

skeletons: In the gourd, skeletons are a normal everyday species. They reproduce naturally by knocking heads together. The female skeleton flies apart, and a baby skeleton is constructed by the male out of some of her bones. She regrows the bones she needs. Skeletons perform in bad dreams, and they dance, developing a sense of perfect timing. They also gamble, rolling the bones to win wagers. They have a talent for cohesiveness, and if knocked apart, they can reform without trouble.

 

slug: Giant gastropod that spreads slime wherever it goes, and whose breath is fiery.

 

snake-fly. Long narrow flying insect with fangs.

 

sneeze bees: Unquestionably one of the most distracting insects in Xanth. Nothing takes your breath away faster than an exposure to the bees' sneeze.

 

snowbirds: White, cold-loving birds that drop powdery, white snow on travelers which spaces out the mind, producing believable illusions and mind-bending dreams.

 

snowsnake: White and silent, poisonous, snow-cold serpent that lives in snow. Its bite causes victims to freeze to death. The snake melts when exposed to heat.

 

spelling bee: It wears a checkered furry jacket, and uses letters from letter plants to spell words. There's nothing a spelling bee can't spell. However, it doesn't necessarily spell the right words.

 

spider lily: A carnivorous flower that weaves a huge web by its garden to catch prey.

 

sphinx: Intelligent monsters of various forms that like riddles. They can speak coherently. Some are so enormous that they look like part of the landscape, and one of their eyelashes would serve for a walking stick.

 

splinter cat: Feline that rubs up against one to deposit painful splinters under the skin.

 

spriggan: Destructive ghost that haunts old castles and megalithic structures. It keeps shoving at columns and crosspieces until they fall down. Spriggans holler boo, and appear to be scary, but it is safest to be

exactly where they are, for they never pull down stones on top of themselves. A spriggan is only the size of a man, but its arms are huge and hairy, and its face sprouts two giant tusks.

 

stag beetle: Small insect with a full rack of antlers.

 

starfish: A brilliantly gleaming water creature on which one may make a wish.

 

starling: Bird with midnight-black feathers on which can be seen constellations of brilliant silver stars.

 

stench-puffer: Small beast that emits stinking clouds.

 

stinglice: Tiny insects that raise painful welts.

 

stink bug: An insect that emits an overpowering stench.

 

stink worm. Tastes absolutely awful. stone dove: Black bird whose protective camouflage closely resembles a rock.

 

succubus: Alluring female demon who can assume the shape of any woman to attract a man, but cannot stand direct light. Men ought to know better than to dally with her, but men are amazingly stupid about such things.

 

sucker-saps: Birds that like to eat sweat gnats.

 

sunfish: Has a rounded fin which projects above the surface of the water. When the fish wishes to, it can light up like the sun.

 

swallowtails: These birds protect themselves from harm by swallowing their own tails and disappearing.

 

sweat gnats: Nasty little bugs which cause humans to sweat and then feed on the perspiration.

 

switchback: Boarlike creature with sharp blades on its sides that it can flick out and slash at whatever the switchback sideswipes. It can instantly charge back the way it came by swapping its head and tail end for end. Switchbacks live on narrow mountain paths where there is no room to turn around.

 

sylphs: A family of slender elflike creatures: Sylvester, Sylvia, and Sylvanie.

 

tarasque: Felinelike monster the size of a horse with six ursine legs, head of a lion  with a mane, whiskers and tusklike teeth, bright orange eyes, spiked carapace, reptilian tail with scorpion point. Tarasques,

technically of the dragon family, are finicky about their food, and do not like to eat carrion, for they fear disease and indigestion. Intelligent, lures prey into a oneway warren-maze to confuse and tire it. The tarasque is vain of its appearance.

 

tatterdemalion: Large, ragged-coated feline that is addicted to ragweed.

 

 

thesaurus: Very ancient breed of reptile who never uses a single term to describe its actions when many will do.

 

thunderbird: Makes a huge noise whenever it flies.

 

tiger beetle: Striped insect that is one of the fiercest bugs around.

 

tiger lilies: These valley-growing flowers like to eat tender flesh.

 

tiger moths: Carnivorous insects with striped wings.

 

tiger shark: Has a tall, striped sailfin and the head of a tiger.

 

toady: Warty little animal that seeks to advise people of power.

 

tree hoppers: Small creatures that resemble tiny trees.

 

tree lobsters: Their protective coloration of leaf-green claws and bark-brown body allows them to hide against tree trunks. They nip with their claws.

 

trolls: Humanoids not quite as large or as strong as ogres, but very tough. The females frequently eat their husbands after mating.

 

trumpet swan: Half-avian, half-musical instrument. Its brassy feathers and raucous call make it one of the more noticeable birds of Xanth.

 

unicorn: Slim, horselike being with the beard of a goat and the tail of a lion, and bearing a single spiralled horn projecting from the center of its forehead. Some unicorns are beautiful, with well-brushed coats and polished horns. Others, less vain of their appearance, are burr-coated and gnarl-horned.

 

vampires: Members of a human-descended race who cannot bear the sunlight and drink blood to survive.

 

vila: A hamadryad, territorial protector of the mountain forest who can change shape and cure or cause illness in those who enter her forest. She is tied to her tree; if the tree dies, so does she. Her talents are all

functions of her purpose, which is to protect her tree.

 

wails: Large water creature that looks like a big blue-gray cloud with hundreds of tiny feet that walk on the surface of lakes, leaving a trail of footmarks known as the prints of wails. Its sad wailing can be heard near Lake Wails. Descended from a real whale that wandered out of Mundania, and grew legs to go from lake to lake.

 

walking stick bug: Ambles on two feet. Several types of these have been noted: silver-headed, Welsh thumbstick, mahogany handled, ivory handled, shillelagh, bamboo-cane.

 

werewolf. Human whose talent is becoming a wolf. He can be killed or injured only with silver weapons.

 

whale: In Xanth, they have four feet, the head and tusks of a boar, a rows of spikes along the body, and legs like those of a Mundane lion.

 

wingcows: Four-legged, two-winged animals that give rich milk from eating leaves in the very tops of trees or grazing on the Moon.

 

wire-haired cow: Small shaggy bovine that gives whisker cream for shaving.

 

wood doves: Heavy wooden birds that frequently act as decoys for other birds.

 

woodwife: Hollow facade of a nymph who comforts lonely men, though her comfort is likely to be empty.

 

woolly hen: Bird with curly fleece instead of feathers. Not very bright, but trustworthy and a fast flyer.

 

wyvern: Small dragon with a barbed tail, but only two legs. The wyvern's nest is as fierce as its habitants, and it can fly, too.

 

yak: Large hairy beast that will talk your ear off. It has lovely eyes, silky hair down its sides, the horns of a sea cow, and the tail of a centaur. The yak is unsilenceable. No one knows how to shut one up, but they can be frightened off. They only talk to people who talk to them first.

 

 

 

THE BEST THINGS

IN XANTH

ARE FREE

anth culture is rather backward and innocent, compared to that of Mundania. Few Xanth men, for example, think there is anything wrong with chasing and maybe catching nymphs. It is said that a man can have a very good time with a captive nymph, though the Adult Conspiracy prevents this Guide from explaining exactly how. However, once a man marries, he's supposed to leave the nymphs of the wild oats pretty much alone. This is not a law, just custom; for some reason the women of Xanth don't like to have their men chasing off after any pretty pair of legs that dances by.

 

There are Mundanes who claim that Xanth is sexist. This is nonsense. Anybody can see that women were never meant to have power; they belong at home taking care of the children. Xanth's medieval culture recognizes that. Recently, unfortunately, women, led by Irene, have been getting Notions, and demanding the rights of men. Not satisfied to have nice legs to run with (or whatever), Irene wanted to run Xanth too. She even served a term as King. She finally realized that it was easier to run things behind the scene, while the foolish men thought they were running things, exactly as is the case in Mundania. Certainly this is sexist, but until men get smart enough to take control back, that's the way it is.

Many of my creatures do not

make physiological sense.

This is on purpose, to reflect the

fact that they are magic. Size and

mass are not constant. That's how

Dolph can change into a bee or a

dragon. With magic, science does

not apply, deliberately.

— Piers Anthony

 

 

t is easy to live well in Xanth. There is no monetary system. Everything is obtained by growing it, gathering it, making it or bartering for it. Food is as close as the nearest edible plant, and clothing does indeed grow on trees.

 

Some of the food plants are very sophisticated. In warm patches, one can often find hot soup gourds, hot potato plants, pie trees, and cocoa-nut trees. Breadfruit trees, which supply fresh loaves of bread, breadsticks, drum rolls (hollow and resonant) grow in several

delicious varieties, including white, challah, whole wheat, raisin, Irish soda, and well-bread (good for what ails you).

 

Refreshingly cool comestibles can be found in jelly-bole trees, soda poppies, and multicolored colorfruit trees, which produce oranges, blues, greens, purples, yellows, and the rest of the rainbow of sweet, pulpy, segmented fruit in thick, nubbly shells. The trees also produce things of limited usefulness, such as door-knobs (some of which can be employed as is; the others, properly cultivated, can grow up to be doors).

 

Clothing, too, comes from plants. Coat trees produce everything from light jackets to all-weather ponchos. From shirt trees, you can get oxford shirts, football jerseys (brown and white pullovers that moo); from shoe trees and hat trees, footgear and headgear are available in season. Lady's-slipper plants, more delicate versions of shoe trees, are cultivated in stockade gardens.

 

Dry-cleaning plants exist to mend and refurbish garments which the owners like too much to throw away, though replacements for ordinary garments can be plucked at the nearest grove.

 

Housing is not a difficulty, either. One can grow, mine, hollow out, or build a home. Bink and Chameleon live in a large hollow cottage cheese. Others favor homes grown from box trees, roof-trees, or wall-nuts, or built from piles of pome-granite stones.

 

The flora of Xanth partakes of the magic flowing through the depths of the land. Like the rivers and mountains, each plant can evoke situational magic to help it make the necessities of life more available to it: sunlight, protection from destruction, water, fertilizer, and a way to spread its seeds or cuttings to propagate its species. According to need, plants have changed so they have more control over their environment (as the healing springs have), or have been changed to become more useful to the citizens of Xanth. A plant rooted in poor soil may develop laxative magic, to compel passing animals to leave behind whatever nutrient-rich compost they can.

 

Queen Irene, whose talent is the Green Thumb, carefully documents useful seeds and plants that come into her possession for future reference. The following are excerpted from the journals she has kept since her talent blossomed.

Queen Irene

 

 

FLOWERS

African violent: The blooms are small purple clubs which smash out at anything that moves. Good for protection from monsters.

 

amaranth: Beautiful purple flower that never fades.

 

begonias: Can't enjoy them long; they're gone as soon as they bloom.

 

blood lilies: Tall, elegant flowers whose bulbs are filled with blood. Favored by some monsters as a tipple.

 

bluebell: One of the worst alarmists in the garden. The bluebell is always ringing off.

 

buttercup: A petal cup on top of a tall green stalk; may contain any one of a number of butters: apple butter, peach butter, creamery butter, peanut butter.

 

cowslip: Nasty to step on, but its leaves are silky and brightly colored, and shaped like camisoles. Must be cultured to grow big enough to wear.

 

crocus: Gloomy plant. It utters the most scandalous imprecations.

 

crowfeet: Wrinkled flowers that look like the claws of birds. (Do NOT grow too closely to Mother's vanity table.)

 

dandelions: The lion heads roar and bite.

 

dog-tooth violents: Don't plant near the dandelions. They bite.

 

fiery love flower: They flame even brighter near people who are in love. (Note: try on Dor.)

 

foxglove: Too small for me to wear.

 

gladiolas: Happy flowers that stretch up joyfully as they grow toward the sun. Wonderful for brightening up a garden.

 

heliotrope: Imitates the sun's rays, can dry things off or dehydrate them completely.

 

hell's bells: Vines which ring their flowers deafeningly. They can only be silenced by smashing the bells or uprooting the plant.

 

impatiens: Grows from seed to bloom in a hurry.

 

marigolds: The blooms are dazzling balls of gold.

 

moroses: Beautiful flowers in gloomy colors that make one feel sad.

 

paintbrushes: Brightly colored fibrous blossoms dripping with paint.

 

periwinkles: Have sly blue eyes that wink.

 

phlox: Plump, white clumps of flowers that baa-aa-aa.

 

poppies: The flowers pop loudly as they open. A variety of this flower, soda poppies, gives effervescent drink in many flavors.

 

primrose: Tall, prissy flower embarrassed by bad behavior.

 

snapdragons: Vicious little plants with miniature dragon heads that eat other insects and animal pests. They are common in the wild, but rare in captivity.

 

stunflower: Stuns anything which looks at it in a burst of blistering radiation, while singing "I'm the one flower, I'm the STUN flower!"

 

sunflower: Until a sunflower goes to seed, its face shines forth with light as bright as day.

 

sweet peas: Little flower cups filled with you know what.

 

torch flowers: They resemble sinister glowing eyes, but the flaming flower can light one's way easily, if one is careful not to burn oneself.

 

violents: Nasty purple man-eating flower. Can be found in a couch potato patch in great profusion. Where violents abound, you must be near a cathode-ray tuber. Originally bred to be planted on the median strip between paths, this one was rejected because they didn't want any more violents on the media. (That would not have happened in Mundania.)

 

wallflowers: Make good walls unless they wilt. They work faster than wall-nuts, but more ephemeral.

 

water lily: The flower cups contain sweet water.

 

xanthemums: Shaggy blue flowers native to the land of Xanth.

Ladyfingers Plant

 

 

PLANTS

 

acid seed: Sour seeds that drop from the acid plant. The juice of its fruit can cut through any substance, including metal.

 

airplane plant: This plant has stiff wings, an upright tail, and an airscope that sucks in air. When freed from its stalk, it can fly independently.

 

alumroot: A magical astringent. All soft tissues that touch its juice shrink.

 

antenna plants: Tall thin trunks with many crossbranches, sparser of leaf and smaller toward the top. They appear to do nothing, but they can broadcast suggestions into the minds of passersby.

 

ard: The herbs of the ard family are used to season food. Canard, which has a sweet, orangy taste, and mustard, with a stronger flavor, are the most popular, but there are also shouldard, wouldard, and mayard.

 

armordillo: Metallic plant that smells of brine. It grows the best armor to be had.

 

arrowroot: Pointing plant that can be used for triangulation.

 

ascamya: Resilient plant that produces meaty pink below-knee sausages. It will instantly grow back to its original height of a foot or so, even if it is hacked nearly to the ground.

 

asparagus spears: A good plant for growing in a protective palisade.

 

bagpipe bush: Grows large plaid bags that wheeze discordantly.

 

banana: The top banana grows alone on its plant and observes what goes on in the jungle. Nothing slips by without notice.

 

bananananana: A more dangerous form of banana. Once you slip on this fruit, you can't stop.

 

bayonet plant: The branches of this plant grow into long, hard points that jab at its attackers.

 

berry-berry: Double berries that cause weakness, paralysis and wasting away. Their toxin acts as a slow poison. No B's come to them.

 

bird's nest fern: A plant which grows in the shape of nests to attract birds to live on it; uses the droppings as fertilizer.

 

bird-of-paradise plant: Looks like a real bird and can fly. Due to its origins, it reacts strongly to bad language or coarse behavior.

 

bladder wort: Pods which collapse with rude noises when stepped on or crushed.

 

blind dates: Squarish, waxy fruit that grows on palm plants. Eating one causes temporary blindness.

Airplane Plant

 

boysengirls berries: The tart seeds look like boys, and the berries look like girls, so they must be eaten together to taste all right.

 

bug bombs: Grow on bug bomb weed, used for fumigation.

 

bulrushes: Can be woven into buoyant rafts which may be controlled with any ring through the nose of the raft. They charge forward, traveling best on open water no matter how rough.

 

burr: A chilly plant parasite that makes anyone it touches very cold.

 

bury plant: Produces buries, fruit that grows underground. You have to be careful eating them, because of the pits. You don't want to fall in.

Bird of Paradise Plant

 

candle plant: The top sheds light as the plant grows.

 

candy-stripe ferns: Pink and white edible ferns.

 

candy-tuft moss: Very tasty, grows on the north side of trees.

 

carnivorous grass: This herb throws out hungry shoots, dripping sap-saliva. It reaches up, hooks and grows into flesh, preventing the prey from getting up and going away. It drains away blood and consumes the flesh.

 

carribean: Vine that continues to bear beans as long as it is moving from place to place. It has bright yellow eyelike flowers that turn eagerly to see new surroundings.

 

caterpillar nettles: Have all the stinging force of the simple Mundane plant, but they can creep up on their victims instead of waiting for them to approach.

 

Cobra Plant

 

catnip: Has paw buds and pussy-willow pusses that yowl and purr, depending on the plant's mood.

 

cauliflower ear: Thick, white vegetable ear anchored by a heavy green stem. Pulpy around the edges, but solid.

 

cement plant: A thick white-grey stem topped by a globe of whitish leaves. Squat, low, unimpressive, but very solid.

 

centipede plant: Mobile creeper with tiny cilia for feet.

 

chain vine: A creeper with strong linked stems that are almost impossible to cut through. Can be used as a fence.

 

chokecherry hedge: A good plant for protection. The tendrils throttle anything that tries to force between them.

 

clatterweed: A plant with low-quality metal or china leaves that bang together noisily.

 

clutchroot: Low-lying plant that grabs at passing feet.

 

cobra plant: A hooded vine with sharp thorns that strikes at movement.

 

coffee beans: When punctured, these beans give strong hot juice that helps wake you up.

 

colorberry bushes: One of these produces small berries in several colors and shapes on the same branch: red, orange, yellow, green, or even blue berries.

 

colorfruit trees: Covered with large, round, sweet fruits in every color of the rainbow.

 

constrictor tentacles: Related to tangle trees They squeeze the life out of passing creatures and gradually absorb their flesh.

 

contact-lens bush: Covered with tiny concave disks of glass that magically adhere to the eyeball and improve vision. Contact lenses are so called because they make close contact.

 

cookie bush: Produces delicious warm cookies. Varieties abound in Xanth, but the most popular are sugar, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, and lemon tea.

 

coral plant: Forms coral on anything it touches.

 

couch potato: Like the hypnogourd, the cathode-ray tuber can entrance a being's mind, though its soul is not in danger. Couch potatoes feel glassy to the touch, and the eyes are all turned inward. Anyone

who stares into the cut half will want to stay and mindlessly watch it forever.

 

crab-grass: Has sharp-edged pincers and a bad temper.

 

creeping fig: A mobile plant which likes to stay low to the ground.

 

currants: Electrically charged fruits that discharge their spark when connected in pairs.

Hypnogourd

 

curse burrs: One of the most annoying pests of the plant world. The only way to get rid of a curse burr is to curse, and the same curse can't be used twice, though a really good curse will knock off several burrs at a time. In Mundania, they are called sand spurs, and even the best curses don't work because the magic is gone.

 

curtain plant: A modest plant with slender stalks around which swirl huge sweeping leaves.

 

cushion cactus: These have soft spines, good for bedding.

 

daytime cereals: They come from a vast wasteland. Daytime cereals grow amazingly fast, but they are bland and insipid. Even though they are not interesting to eat, they can prove fatally addictive, as the eater must consume more and more of them. There is almost no nourishment in them, but they are very popular among goblins and Mundanes. At night, they shrink into nighttime mini-cereals, which are even more addictive.

 

devil's tongue plant: A slimy and slippery, foul-mouthed leaf that makes infernal remarks such as calling Xavier "you son of a witch." (Literally true, but unkindly put.)

 

dog fennel: An eager herb that nips and barks. When it sleeps, it tucks its flower heads under its tails.

 

dry-cleaning plants: Sharp-smelling bushes whose fumes magically clean garments laid across the leaves.

 

dumb bell: Big, stalky plant with bulbous growths on each end that rings with a loud, dull bong.

 

eggplant: Depending on location of the plant, the eggs can be raw, soft-boiled, hard-boiled or, if stolen, poached.

 

elephant bush: Large gray plant designed by committee.

 

eyeball f e r n : At the tips of this fern are seed heads that look like eyes.

 

eye queue vines: Hanging vines that look as though they've been braided with large eyeballs spaced at even intervals. When they come in contact with a scalp, they sink into the brain, making the wearer smart (or think he is smart, which isn't necessarily the same thing), painless to all but actively

stupid creatures, such as ogres.

 

eye scream bush: On this plant grow several flavors of the eye scream delicacy.

 

fabric plants: This family of fiber-heavy plants, including flannel plants and corduroy (from cordwood leaves), produce cloth which makes splendid off-the-branch clothing.

 

false hops: Produces hundreds of miniature kangaroos that are really all leaf and stem.

 

fireweed: To ignore.

 

hawkweed: Swoops down on its stem, and pecks and claws with talonlike thorns.

 

honesty plant: A white-leafed herb around which it is impossible to lie. Naturally, it grows strictly upright.

 

horehound: The doggy heads of this plant bite only women of loose virtue.

 

horsetail: Black, ropelike vine that pulls back when yanked.

 

hose vines: Socks and leggings grow on this vine.

 

hot potato plants: Tubers which grow hotter as they mature. Hot potatoes send up a jet of steam when they are ready to be picked and eaten.

 

hunter's horn: Blows a "tally-ho!" note.

Gorgon

Eye-Queue Vine

 

hypnogourd: Also called the peephole gourd. Immediately imprisons the mind. Those who peek in the peephole are instantly mesmerized. Their souls are whisked away to the world of the gourd. (See Hazards of Xanth.)

 

ice cream bush: Related to the snowball bush, except the balls are deliciously flavored ice cream.

 

inkwood bush: Its branches contain the best ink. Splinters of the wood can be used as pens.

 

ironwood: Grows up like spears, coated with rust. See also ironwood tree, the mature form.

 

itch weed: Stalky plant whose tiny thorns are shaped like claws.

 

jeanbushes: Branch of the fabric plant family which produces entire garments instead of lengths of cloth.

 

jelly bean plant: Mutated shrub of the jellybarrel tree. Gives variegated beans.

 

Ice Cream Bush

 

knotweeds: Long grasses that tie themselves into complicated knots. A growing knotweed can trip up a mobile creature that wanders into its toils while a new knot is in progress. Young knotweeds can only do square knots, but grown ones know all the twists.

 

kraken weed: Monstrous plant that lives in the sea, feeding on the bodies of men and sea creatures swept helplessly into its tendril-tentacles.

 

ladder bushes: Useful to those wishing to secure something above them that is just out of reach. Immature bushes consisting of only a few steps are frequently grown in the kitchens of Xanth homes. A very wellgrown ladder bush is used by Good Magician Humfrey in his study.

 

ladyfingers plant: Delicate hands with brightly polished nails. They clamor for attention by snapping their fingers.

 

lady's slipper plant: Related to the shoe tree, it produces dainty footwear for ladies.

 

lamb fennel: A primal plant that evolved into blanket bushes.

 

land kraken: Weed with prehensile tentacles that lives in the jungle. It resembles a harmless vine.

 

letter plants: Its flowers look like letters, and the whole plant has a smell like ink and musty books.

 

light bulbs: Surface-growing tuber which glows brightly when healthy. It weighs very little.

 

lightning rods: Natural reeds that glow brightly and are hot to the touch.

 

locoberries: Intoxicating fruit that causes those who eat it to go wild.

 

maidenhair fern: A delicate and modest plant.

 

Marquis-of-Queens-berry: In the wild, this plant always grows near shadow-boxers and governs their behavior. These acerbictasting berries can be eaten as an antidote to locoberries.

 

marsh-mallow. This plant produces edible, sweet, puffy pods much prized as a treat.

 

milkweed: When squeezed gently, the pods of this plant yield fresh sweet milk.

 

mint: A family of plants with some special qualities, as indicated by their names: spearmint, peppermint, frankinmint (smells like frankincense, but without the anger) and such.

 

mistletoe: Nudges the earth with its toenail and fires off seed pods.

 

mossquitoes: Vicious lichenous parasites that thrive on sap and bloodroot.

 

movie trailers: Transparent vines heavy in cellulose which show a different picture along each inch of their length.

 

muffin bush: A plant akin to the breadfruit tree, which buds fresh, hot muffins.

 

mushrooms: Tiny rooms filled with mush. Some contain corn meal mush, some oat mush, and some wheat mush. It isn't very interesting food, but it is nourishing.

 

needle-cactus: A dangerous succulent which can fling its needles. Its attacks can be fatal.

 

nosegays: Bouquets of blossoms which clear stuffy noses.

 

number noodle plants: The produce of this plant is delicious noodles in the shapes of numbers. Alphabet noodle plants are closely related to the number variety.

 

passion fruit: Causes those who eat it to become passionately inclined.

 

photogra-fern: Tall, leafy plant that flashes brightly as it snaps away at a victim.

 

pillbox bush: Grows pills of all useful kinds.

 

pillow bushes: Plants whose fruits are huge puffy pillows with soft, downy fibers inside and a smooth, cottony skin outside. Pillow bushes tend to be low and hollow in the middle to attract passersby to rest within. The seeds can only be spread if the pillows are beaten and thrown, as they would be during a good pillow fight.

 

pincushion plants: Low bushes that have a profusion of short, sharp spines which they plunge into the legs of passersby.

 

pinwheel cookies: Most people hold the cookie by the pin when they eat them. Pinwheels look pretty growing, as they spin in the wind. The Gorgon serves punwheel cookies, a favorite of Ivy's.

 

pitcher plants: Cuplike leaves filled with liquid that will kill flies. Also plays a game with fly-catchers, pitching fast lobs not fast enough to run away before the plant begins the game.

Pillow bush

 

poison ivy: Can shoot or let go droplets of poison. No relation to Princess Ivy, who isn't like that at all.

 

popsickle plants: Produces lollypops.

 

potato-chip bush: The ripe petals of its flowers are crispy potato chips.

 

potty plant: Makes passersby have a sudden call of nature.

Power Plant

 

power plant: A plant that grows big fruit in the shape of light bulbs. The fruit makes one stronger than one was for a little while.

 

pumpkin: A large vegetable whose juices pump up whatever it touches like balloons.

 

quack grass: Some villagers in Xanth believe that it's an all-purpose patent cure, and use it when a healing spring isn't available. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

 

quats: Edible fruit that grows low, middle, and high on the vine. There are also sasquats, shaped like big feet, which cause anyone who eats them to be sassy. Sasquats give one bad dreams about big hairy

creatures and snow.

 

ragweed: Ragged clothes grow from its stalks. The cloth makes some people sneeze uncontrollably; in fact, some creatures will sneeze their heads off after one sniff.

 

resurrection fern: Has the property of playing on the psychology of the ignorant spectator. If there is a person standing near the resurrection fern, he or she appears to have the face of some dear departed. If the onlooker knows the secret of the fern, the illusion is broken. It resurrects those precious memories which are etched deepest. In Mundania, without magic, it merely resurrects itself.

 

sea oats: These stalks of grain swish and gurgle in their patches, following the faraway tides of the oceans. They make a tasty though salty broth, which carries on the tidal characteristics of the grain,

slopping some of the contents out of overfull bowls with their waves.

 

seeds of light: Expand into fat glowing bulbs wherever they light.

 

serpentine: A partially mobile bush which hisses and undulates like a serpent. The leaves are formed in the shape of little snake-tongues. Pretty, greenish color.

 

sesame plants: The edible seeds of this plant can only be taken from open sesames, since the petals have sharp stalactitelike protrusions that can effortlessly tear the flesh off a human hand.

 

shadow-boxer: A plant with buds shaped like little boxing gloves set on springy tendrils. It strikes out at any shadow which attracts its attention. The plant cannot tolerate strong light.

 

skunk cabbages: Vegetables striped with telltale black and white streaks to warn animals from trying to eat them. They release a horrible stench when upset.

 

sliding turf: This cross between runner beans and slippery grass is a hazard to travelers. The sod can actually slide along the surface of the ground.

 

snake plant: Bites only snakes. Can be squeezed to produce snake oil, a vaunted but mostly ineffective cure-all.

 

snake root: A protective plant that bites any snakes that try to cross it.

 

snowball bush: Chilly white snowballs just the right size and texture for fights grow on this plant.

 

speargrass: Miniature spear-tips that grow in sharp-edged ranks.

 

split rock plant: Its roots split rocks.

 

spongemoss: Cushiony lichen useful for protecting wounds from the air. Absorbs blood or sap and seals gashes.

 

stinkhorn: Makes a foul-smelling noise when blown. Also makes children laugh when someone sits on  one.

Wild Oats

 

stinkweeds: They exude a noxious odor that causes anything with a sense of smell to flee.

 

string beans: Can be unraveled into a ball of tough string, too tough to bite or be cut by any normal knife.

 

sugar palm: Forms a hand made of sugar.

 

sweet-bells plant: Like the bluebell, this plant rings a pretty tune.

 

toma-toes: Modest dancing fruits that blush from green to red when embarrassed.

 

towel plant: Related to the flannel plant, a source of useful fabric.

 

trance plant: Anyone who gets too close to it will be dazed.

 

treasure vine: This trailer bears coinlike fruit and greenbacked foliage on silvery stalks.

 

watercress: Grows up speedily in a hissing mass that lets off gas with a sound like "cress."

 

watermelons: These large green-skinned fruits suck in huge amounts of water while they grow.  watermelons have an almost infinite capacity for liquid.

 

Naga

 

wild oats: Slash and struggle to avoid being harvested. Planted and watered by a young man with his own urine, the mature plant's wild green-haired nymph will be bound to the sower. Parents of young men frown on this sort of thing, for some reason. There are tame oats, too, but for a wild one to

behave itself goes against the grain.

 

wiregrass: Inedible ground cover that wire-hair cows and wire-haired terriers eat to enhance their magic.

 

witch hazel: It is impossible to see through a hazel copse. The magic fog they generate obscures vision, making it impossible to tell witch hazel is witch. Used for triangulation, a complicated process employed by centaurs for finding unknown locations.

 

Xantharrhoed: A thick-trunked growth from which grow long thin grasslike leaves with upright spikes at the top bearing whitish flowers. Primitive, fundamental plant of Xanth.

 

TREES

The trees in the jungles of Xanth are as varied as any in the wilds of Mundania. All Mundane varieties exist here, but, like anything in Xanth, they have absorbed X(A/N)th's magic, and have changed over the centuries. Evergreen fir trees grow in the cooler reaches, but the fir has softened pleasantly into fur. Other evergreens have mutated and divided, so that everblues and everyellows stand side by side with their ancestor, all three of which can permanently stain anything they touch blue, yellow, or green. Rock maples have evolved until they produce true rocks instead of soft, winged seeds.

 

acorn tree: Makes acorns. In Mundania, this function is performed by oak trees.

 

ances-tree: Its big bole branches into two, then two into four, into eight, and so on to infinitesimal branchlets. The bark corrugations resemble tiny words: names and dates.

 

artis-trees: All are different. No two are alike in color or construction but all are masterpieces, most appealing to behold.

 

ash trees: Found in blue, white, or black, these untidy trees scatter ash on the forest

floor.

 

baobab tree: Grows upside down with its foliage on the ground and its roots in the air. Inside the hollow of the tree, everything seems to be right side up.

 

bay tree: A mournfully howling tree from which is produced bay rum.

 

beerbarrel trees: A variety of brews form naturally in these hollow-boled trees. Beerbarrel trees which look sickly yield Ail, extremely wide ones contain Stout, and ones with twisted, pinched limbs contain

Bitter.

 

blackjack oaks: They bash intruders. Used as part of the defenses of Castle Roogna.

 

box elders: These trees steal the youth of creatures which blunder into their grove. They are hollow inside.

 

breadfruit trees: A staple of the Xanth diet. Fresh bread in Xanth is budded, not baked.

 

buckeye: Rakish trees that wink at passersby. Centaurs make a potent liquor out of the nuts that has a real kick.

 

bull spruces: These have horns that can tear or gore the unwary.

 

butternut tree: The soft-shelled nuts contain the best fresh butter.

 

cabbage palm: A tree with normal-looking fingers, but the palm is solid cabbage.

 

cedar-chest: This tree produces antisepticsmelling boxes in which one can store anything safely away from bugs. Some cedars yield Hope Chests, which can contain insubstantial magic.

 

cheesefruit: Tasty fruit found on cheesewood trees, out of which cheeseboxes are made.

Wiggles

 

cherry bombs: Originally ordinary chocolatecovered cherries adapted by King Roogna for the battle against the invading Fifth Wavers. They explode with great force when thrown.

 

chest-nut: Grows chests of nuts, which contain all manner of nuts: cocoa nuts, P and Q nuts, red, blue and hazel nuts, sandy beach nuts, and soft butternuts. The chests also contain several inedible nuts and bolts.

 

cocoa trees: Produce cocoa-nuts that contain hot cocoa.

 

cordwood: Comes from cord trees. The wood can be separated into its component cords. If one wants to make an especially strong object, one would disassemble the cord and re-form the matter into the parts

wanted before construction, thereby making use of pre-recorded material. 

 

cough drop tree: Small nuts that make one cough.

 

coven-tree: Large individual leaves with black markings on them label cages with their inhabitants' names, and give direction. On display are Gi-ants, ma-moths, enormouse, tremen-does, gigan-tics, stupen-does, and im-mens, brought here by Xanthippe. When they are freed, all the creatures charge around madly.

 

crabapple: Snappish fruit with ugly little faces and pinching claws. When steamed, crabapples turn bright red, and are delicious. Crabapple jelly is a popular favorite, though it affects everyone's mood for the rest of the day.

 

date palm: This plant has fronds for every day of the year. Day lilies grow around it in little cups of earth, but only one blooms each day. In the center of the palm is the century plant, which has long, thick green

leaves spread out in a globe. At the heart of the plant are little straight stalks clothed by many round leaves that glitter as brightly as gold. When they are touched, they stop all time, for that is what the gold coins are:

thyme, one of the most subtle and powerful plants of all. In Xanth, it appears that thyme is money.

 

date tree: On this tree grow down-dates and up-dates, which are affected by air waves. The fruit looks like a little 8 connected to a little D, as is proper for a D8.

 

dead-wringer: A plant so closely related to the tangle tree, or nooseloop, that it is frequently mistaken for one, though it is less dangerous than either.

 

direc-trees: Yellow-leaved tree which will help with any inquiries for a quarter part of anything. On its leaves are pictures of the things it knows about.

 

dogwood: A normally friendly tree with teethlike inner branches, though its bark is worse than its bite. Its many leaves resemble the faces of dogs, and its roots are like doglegs. Its fruits are hot dogs.

 

flying fruits: These fruit flies are tasty and normal. Their leaves act as wings. When they leave their tree, they find nests that resemble large salad bowls.

 

geome-tree: A three-dimensional plane tree with precisely shaped leaves.

 

glass trees: The transparent, brittle leaves of this tree and its inner bark provide windows for Castle Roogna. It is wise to handle it with care, for each sharp fragment may cause one pane.

 

gluebark: Anything which penetrates the bark of this sticky tree is held fast and then  engulfed, as the tree slowly grows around it and absorbs it.

 

hoarse chestnut: A tree which makes heavy breathing sounds when the wind passes.

 

hominy tree: Produces fresh grits.

 

hornbeam: Honks and shines brightly. horse-chestnut: This tree whinnies to attract attention, then tells boring old stories, dropping one old chestnut after another as long as it has an audience. None of a chestnut's stories are ever true. The nuts themselves resemble a centaur's droppings, another expression for blatant untruth in Xanth.

 

indus-tree: A busy plant with a lot going on in the branches.

 

infant-tree: Tough babies grow on this tree that wear diapers and helmets, also a little sword or spear. If anyone disagrees with them, they say, Tough shift!" because in the military, some shifts are harder than others.

 

ironwood tree: Used for pressing clothes, also a source of the metal; very tough.

 

monkey puzzle tree: Only someone watching it grow can solve the puzzle. Makes a good refuge when staying in a dangerous place.

 

multifruit tree: Useful plant on which several different fruits grow at once. Magically adapted where there was too little room for all the different fruit trees to grow.

 

mys-tree: Its defense is that under its influence an intruder has trouble figuring things out.

 

nonenti-tree: An unimportant tree, hardly worth this listing.

 

oilbarrel trees: Citizens of Xanth get their fuel from these trees.

 

pagean-tree: Very ornate tree. Has marching bands marching through its branches: strips of cloth, brass or rubber with little legs that step out in cadence.

 

pairs: Fruit of greenish yellow that can only be plucked from their branch in twos.

 

papershell pecans: The finest paper can be drawn from the shells of these nuts.

Infant-tree

 

peace-pines: These are more dangerous than they look. If you lie down underneath one, it will lull you to sleep if it can, and keep you there forever.

 

pepper tree: The spicy bark makes one sneeze.

 

pie tree: One of the staples of food plants in Xanth. Pie trees can bear any kind of pie, usually several types on the same plant: delicious ones like pizza, pecan, shoo-fly, mince, shepherd's, cheese, chocolate cream, as well as offensive varieties like crabapple, pepperpot, pineapple, pe-can, and so on.

 

pine tree: This melancholy conifer makes one too unhappy to live. Sometimes to recover from its effects, one needs to seek out a psychia-tree.

 

pineapples: This fruit grows on apple pine trees in Xanth, unlike Mundane pineapples which grow on the ground. The ripe, golden-fleshed fruits, when dropped, explode in smoke and flame with a force

that sends shrapnel-seeds hurtling in all directions.

 

plane tree: A jet black tree that enjoys flying, and is willing to carry passengers in its branches. They don't care for mockingbirds, who imitate their pilot fish, so many of them have No Mocking sections.

 

plumbs: Fruit that grows straight up and down on stringlike twigs on trees; they bob on their branches.

 

pogo trees: Incredibly springy trees that compress vertically and rebound straight up. Can be used as a form of transportation if a crosspiece is attached for the feet to rest on. Pogo trees are found in swamps.

Seeing-Eye Dogwood Tree

 

pome trees: Pome trees have granite fruit, hard as stone, which can be used for building. It takes excellent teeth to bite into a pome-granite.

 

psychia-tree: This plant soothes and comforts any troubled person who lies down in its shade.

 

punchfruit trees: These give bowl-shaped fruits that contain thirst-quenching fruit punch. If allowed to get too ripe, the liquid packs a very solid punch indeed.

 

reverse wood: Reverses any magic performed within the range of its power. It affects only exterior magic, not inherent magic. In its more primitive state, it also reversed emotions. The bits of it that turn

up in Mundania are called "lighter knot" because they burn with magic heat, melting stoves.

 

rock maple: A tough tree whose fruit is large round stones. Rock maples have a nasty sense of humor, and like to drop their stones on creatures which pass under their branches.

 

roses: In a special courtyard by themselves at Castle Roogna, five bushes of Mundaneseeming roses grow. They are white for indifference, yellow for friendship, pink for romance, red for love, and black for death. The Test of the Roses is to determine what relationship truly lies between two people. They are enchanted so a person can only pick one of the appropriate color. Any other will stab his hand with long, sharp thorns. The person taking the test must climb a rope ladder to a tile where the rosebushes can examine him to make sure the emotion the roses reveal is directed at him, not at someone else. The roses cannot be fooled.

 

rubber tree: A very flexible tree whose sap is used to make musical rubber bands.

 

seeing-eye dogwood tree: This plant looks like a mass of eyeballs on stalks that follow any movement.

 

sen-trees: These guard parts of the forest where intruders are not welcome.

Pie Tree

 

shade tree: This tree yields no real shadow, because it has no substance. A shade tree is the ghost of a real tree which died by violence.

 

shoe tree: The plant from which most citizens of Xanth get their shoes. All kinds of sturdy footwear grow on its branches. The sap from fresh high-heeled pairs can be used as emergency heeling potion when nothing else is available.

 

Shoe Tree

 

silver oak: A tree formed of silver.

 

slash pine: A close relative of the needle pine which brandishes sharp blades instead of small spines.

 

soda tree: Special hollow tree which when punctured spouts forth soda. Lime soda is one of the great favorites, but the tree comes in many different flavors.

 

sophis-tree: An animal that looks like a solid tree, but turns out to be an animal masquerading by standing on its thick tail and spreading its limbs out. It covers itself with bits of green to emulate leaves and

branches.

 

 spikespire tree: A narrow growth whose branches all point toward the sky in a sharp, tightly wedged spike.

 

stork-leg tree: Spindly bole with thick, plumy foliage at the top.

 

symme-tree: Is of perfect bilateral design, each vertical half the mirror image of the other.

 

torment pine: Just touching this tree hurts. tree house: A magically enhanced hybrid of a boxwood, wall-nut, and lodgepole pine which grows into a comfortable domicile mounted high atop the trunk.

 

trouser-tree: On this tree grow nice brown jeans and other pantaloons.

 

two-lips tree: Its flowers give big smacking kisses on the cheek to passersby.

 

umbrella trees: These come in two types, the dry-loving umbrella trees, and the wetloving parasol trees. The broad spreading canopy of the umbrella opens out when it rains because it likes dry soil over its roots.

Parasol trees fold up in rain and spread out in sunshine, because they prefer their roots cool. They are not natural companion plants. Budding seedlings of either are called bumber shoots. Anyone can shelter under these plants; they are beneficent magic. An extract of sap from the parasol plant is a sun-shade elixir called parasol balm, or pa ba for short.

 

waffle tree: A plant that only grows in the Roogna Royal Orchard.

 

water chestnut tree: If you pick and puncture the chestnuts, you can drink their store of fresh water.

 

widowmaker: Tree with reddish sap that drops heavy deadwood limbs on those who walk below.

 

winekeg tree: Depending on the variety, these can contain any color of wine. The saplings yield only sour, immature wine, while the full-grown trees give robust, mature vintages.

 

You-call-yptus tree: Calls out warnings and can move its branches to ward off danger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAGICAL THINGS

OF XANTH

undane folks sometimes don't appreciate the fact that the varieties and techniques of magic are as diverse as those of science in Mundania. If you wanted to travel from New York to California (to make up two ludicrous names) and someone told you "Use science," you might be inclined to inquire, "What kind of science?" The science of aeronautics differs from that of automotives and from that of seacraft, and within each science are many subsciences. You might fly by glider, human-powered craft,  ropellerdriven

airplane, jet plane, or balloon. You might prefer the craft of one maker to that of another. In short, it is really no answer to say "science." Why, then, should "magic" be an answer? The laws of magic differ from setting to setting. It works one way in the Adept framework, and in another way in the Incarnations framework, and another in the Dragon's Gold framework, and another in the Mode framework—oops, cancel that; you aren't supposed to know about that yet—and yet another in the Xanth framework. So when you say magic, you are merely opening the door to a considerable subject; don't be quick to assume that you know it all.

But for all that, the magic of Xanth is                  A computer in Xanth would work,

fairly straightforward. After it diffuses                         but what it would do is not the

from the ambience of the Demon                                    same thing in both universes.

X(A/N)th, it takes a number of conventional        Things of science work; a lever is a

forms. Generally, all things either                             machine.  Once something enter

use magic or are magic. Human folks,                     Xanth, the magic begins to affect

for example, use magic, each having a                     the object.  What was even more

talent, while dragons are magic: their                        fun was writing about the effect

magic is built in. But you can never be                    that a program written in Xanth

quite certain where the line is drawn.                                                      has in Mundania.

Some folk seem to be magic, like the                                                          - Piers Anthony      

Good Magician Humfrey, while some

magical creatures, like the centaurs, seem to have magic talents. So the general rule is only an imperfect guideline, like the statement "Mundane women are gossipy." Don't take it too seriously. After all, Xanth women are gossipy, too.

 

Except for rare occasions, every item of magic has but a single spell: a magic cloak  may make one invisible, but it won't make one invulnerable, too. Enchanted items generally are enchanted for a specific purpose, such as a sword which makes the wielder an instant expert swordsman. Naturally occurring items frequently have less obvious uses, such as the midnight sunstone. And the uses of some have been long forgotten, as some items change hands often.

 

All of the curiosities and puzzles which abound in Xanth are listed somewhere in one of Good Magician Humfrey's collection of magical tomes. Following is a sample of spells, oddities and customs of Xanth from his books which have never been known in Mundania.

 

accommodation spell: Packaged by a magician named Yin-Yang to make the two who use it compatible in every way physically necessary for interbreeding. It is continually invokable, and does not dissipate after being used once. It is the size and shape of a grain of rice, most suitable for facilitating weddings.

 

address: Where Good Magician Humfrey can be found, if you can figure it out.

 

Adult Conspiracy. The secret of summoning storks, kept from all children by all adults. Also, the way adults force children to eat yucky wholesome food, like spinach.

 

age springs: A trap for the unwary, as water drunk from this spring hastens old age, for what reason no adult will say.

 

agony column: Tall pillar of marble upon which sufferers lie to cause their pain to abate.

 

apology: In the gourd, one apologizes by giving a passionate kiss to the person whom one has offended. This pleasant custom has spread out into Xanth.

 

beachcomber: Giant comb that sweeps ail the debris out of the sand of a beach, and piles it up to be moved to a dumping site.

 

babbling brook: Freshwater stream which can talk.

 

blue agony fungus: Glows blue and has a dry, pleasant odor, but it turns the body of its agonized victims blue and melts them into a puddle that kills all the vegetation where it soaks in. It used to be used for executions during the early Waves of Colonization.

 

Book of Answers: Humfrey's gigantic personal tome of Information, which is the ultimate authority on every subject in Xanth.

 

bottomless pith: Fiber used to make bags with nearly infinite capacity.

 

castor oil: A vile substance which adults make children eat because it tastes dreadful. It leaks from castors when they roll too far.

 

chocolithic rock: Veins of tasty brown rock from which chocolate chips are mined.

 

cloudstones: Stepping stones one can use to cross the sky.

 

conniptions: Nasty little things that aggravate folks to the point of rage, especially when there is already a problem.

 

coral sponges: The remains of migratory sponges, they absorb pain and spread healing comfort.

 

cottage cheese: Large cheese that, when hollowed out, hardens and is quite suitable as a domicile. They grow, but are not plants.

 

crewel lye: A mixture used to clean the magic Tapestry in Castle Roogna.

 

D-tails: The hinder parts of bulls and bears, to which Mundanes pay close attention.

 

D-tour: An illusion that can be planted on an enchanted path to cause a traveler to change direction.

 

 

dark lantern: This lamp spreads a beam of darkness.

 

darning egg: Ovoid stone which nice girls use to rid themselves of curse burrs.

 

Deathstone: A rare rock which radiates an aura of death. One was used to protect Xanth for centuries from intruders.

 

dime: Tiny silver object that causes things passing over it to stop. It can only be used 12 times before it wears out, hence the expression, "a dime a dozen."

 

drying stone: This flat rock generates warm radiation to soothe anything near it that is cold or wet.

 

ectoplasm: A squishy cloud of formless matter in the gourd. It trails pale, sticky white streamers from its mass, and can stretch just like taffy. It is hard to detach from anything it touches.

 

Enchanted Mountain: A replica of aspects of Xanth in the dream realm, in the form of a towering mountain. Accessed by the frankinmint plant.

 

Fantasy Fan

 

enchanted paths: These trails abound throughout Xanth. They can defy gravity, carrying their passengers high through the air in a loop-the-loop, submerge them underwater without drowning or carry them under the earth. Evil magic can't exist on a charmed magical path, so pedestrians are protected while they remain on one. Some exist only in one direction.

 

evil eye: Shoots beam of light that can damage or kill.

 

eye scream, eye smilk: The eyes of these birds are rich and delicious. They may be served frozen as a special dessert treat. Scream birds are skinny and bony. All they eat goes to add size and richness to their great yellow eyes. They feed on eye plants, like eyebright, eye-rises, eye-o'-the-day flowers, and the like. (Demons eat an imitation of this treat which is made from the toe of the fu bird, but frozen toe-fu is inferior in flavor to eye scream.) Eye scream tastes very good served in crunchy pine cones.

 

Vitamin F: Which puts the F in F-ect if you put forth the right F-ort, and has been lost in the gourd for centuries along the Lost Path. Not to be confused with Vitamin X, which is for X-perts.

 

fan club: A length of wood with which a fan can place itself in the middle of fandom.

 

fantasy fan: A bamboo fan that has a magic picture on it when it is spread open. It makes the wielder think that he is cooler than he is, especially when the picture is of a snowscape. Periodically, the fans gather together from all over Xanth for a convention where they shoot the breeze and blow a lot of hot air, and decide who is the secret master of fandom.

 

fan-tom: An image of a fantasy fan that lacks substance.

 

figment: An illusory figure. Gina Giantess started out as one, but Girard's love made her a regular dream figure.

 

firewater opal: Mela Merwoman's prize, which she needs to gain a husband. She enlists Prince Dolph's aid to recover it, because Draco Dragon killed her former husband and stole the gem.

 

fire, water, sand: A gambling game popular in Xanth, played by simultaneously offering a hand sign indicating one of the three elements: a closed fist means sand, a flat hand means water, and the first two fingers forked represent fire. Depending on who is playing, fire evaporates water, water covers sand, and sand smothers fire; or water douses fire, sand displaces water, and fire melts sand. If both players offer the same symbol, the round is a tie, and play continues. The rules should be discussed

before play begins.

 

firecracker: Flaming cracker that explodes in pretty sparkles when crunched.

 

firewater: Streams, pools or fountains of orange water which cascade and steam naturally. Firewater is used for cooking, but is too hot for bathing.

 

fish river: A stream which turns all that drink from it to fish.

 

fog horns: Tall treelike horns which blast out columns of fog to obscure the forest paths.

 

foot-ball: Every kind of extremity that there is, hooves, feet, claws, talons, paws, insect legs, growing on the outside of a sphere which rolls by itself all over Xanth.

 

Forget-Whorl: Piece that has broken off from the Gap's Forget Spell. These wander randomly across the land, causing memory lapses.

 

Freshman English: A fate worse than death, in Mundania.

 

wild fruitcakes: Dangerous when cornered, but delicious.

 

golden fleas: The fabulous metallic fleas of a dragon, sought by Ja-son, a foolish Mundane.

 

Gorgon-zola: A delicious, half-petrified cheese made by the Gorgon by staring at milk through her veil.

Fire Water

 

Icicle Forge

 

hand-ball: Related to the foot-ball, a sphere of hands, paws, wings, claws that rolls around Xanth. Frequently used for games by ogres.

 

handkerchoo: Delicate square of cloth used for containing sneezes.

 

hate spring: Makes anyone who touches its water hate the next person seen. Used by the Goblinate of the Golden Horde to torment captives.

 

hayberry longcake: A delicacy. There is an inferior substitute in Mundania, using short straw instead of long hay.

 

headstone: Magic rock which takes on the appearance of whoever is buried nearby.

 

healing spring: Heals completely all wounds, rashes, diseases, bruising, amputations (deliberate or accidental) except for beheading. It may lay a geas on any user to protect the pool in exchange for its

benefits.

 

Heaven Cent: A penny piece that sends the wearer to the place most needed; it can be charged only by Electra.

 

hem lock: A border plant that can be set at the hem of a dress. Once locked, it will never slip off.

 

honey comb: B's use this to comb honey from honeysuckle and honeymoons.

 

honeymoon: The far side of the moon, which remains as sweet as honey, and is popular with the newly married. The near side of the moon, of course, has long since been corrupted to green cheese because of

the horrible sights it sees below.

 

hope chest: A special box that grows on cedar-chest trees. It can safely contain insubstantial magic like hope or love.